sinking but not sinking
We reached the top of the rise, in the sunlight of the shaved slot
between the towering gums, rattling in the light breeze.
This was Jess’s favourite bit, the run down the fire trail, black coat rippling, glistening in the sunlight, ears and tongue flapping, as she darted from side to side
zig zagging in and out of the forest’s-edge.
A complete joy.
On this day, her joy overtook me, I leapt into a full sprint, chasing her down the hill,
her head turned, a beaming smile, as she doubled the pace down the rough track,
still moist from the nightly rain.
Diving off into the bush, my head turning, following this black dart, weaving her magic joy into the gums.
A trip!
A stumble!
A vibrating jolt!
I was airborne, launched, my arms windmilling, hands grabbing air, a human projectile arching to the earth.
Hands, knees down, splashing, sliding, down into the mud, skidding to an abrupt halt, a muddy plimsoll mark defining my immersion.
Raising up onto my hands and knees, spitting rancid mud, gasping for air, dripping water into rippling reflections as they gained control.
My head dropped!
I just laughed, uncontrollably, a deep, shaking, pulsating laughter in hysterical shock, at the sheer tomfoolery, the joy, of a day with Jess.
I shook, laughing in the full realisation of the absolute absurdity of my situation.
I looked up to the now racing clouds, running to the end of day.
I pushed up!
Sinking deeper?
Puzzled?
I pushed up again, sinking further into the mud!
Surprised, I pushed forcefully, trying to lift, each hand, each leg in turn, churning mud, with the slurping, sucking sound of capture.
Unable to suck my arms from the mire, my legs immobile, sinking, moving, back, forth, swilling mud.
At first slowly, then quickening, until frantic panic, my head thrashing from side to side, splashing sweat.
With each move, sinking, forever sinking.
The only movement, down!
Panic again, struck like a train.
I raised my dripping head skyward, in disbelief, exasperation.
Eyes closed as I yelled, howled to the sky.
Jess… Jess… Jess!
The gums digesting each cry.
Still, but then faintly, I could hear her, slashing, bounding through the underground.
Forever nearer.
With the shock of the parting shrub, whipping my side, Jess abruptly, forelegs locked
slides to a halt, ears upright, tongue hanging, catching up, panting, swaying to rest.
Bewildered, quizzical, she leaned forward, trying, tentatively, this way and then that,
taking steps into the mud trying to get to me, then sinking, she pulled back, eyes glazed, pupils dilated!
Sensing my situation, she gingerly, retreated from the realisation of my dilemma, that I, had only just, begun to comprehend fully.
I could not move!
Movement accelerated the sinking!
Up to my armpits, turning my head.
Jess, Jess.
She dropped to sit.
Go get help, go girl, go Jess!
Jess sprang to her feet.
Front legs sprang to attention.
Looking bewildered, eyes, darting this way then that.
Jess go home, Jess GO!
Stiffening, she shuffled backwards, barked, turned and disappeared into the thrashing scrub.
Head turned, straining over my shoulder, Jess emerged in silhouette, stopping on the road at the top of the hill, both of us on all fours.
Looking back, Jess, barking!
I screamed!
Go home Jess!
Exhausted, dropping my head into the liquid chill, as it oozed, flowed, around my cheeks.
Snorting breath, pulling desperately, in a whipping frenzy.
Then panting pauses, rippling mud.
Pulling, resting, a relentless, futile cycle.
Fighting the realisation, of what seemed like, the inevitability of my situation.
Sinking further, forever downwards into the chilled liquid blackness, gasping for breath, my neck straining.
Arching back, with all my strength, a final, unending scream of desperation,
ripping out of my throat, assaulting the clouds, abandoning me.
Jess, Jess!
As the cry left me, I shook, spat, cried, as deeper and deeper, I sank, down, into the mire.
Emerging shoulders, gone, an ever increasing, creeping chill, running through my body.
Head!
Arched backwards, locked to the side.
Mouth grabbing breath!
Hyperventilating!
The slime oozing into the side of my mouth, spitting, retching, vomiting mud.
Mouth closed, flared nostrils, snorting breath, slime.
Panic!
Disbelief!
Bewilderment!
Neck!
Pained, strained!
A rising vibration, a rumble, a guttural primal rumble, for survival, a scream for forgiveness.
Jess, forgive me!
Nose, captured by the wet chill, locks!
Panicking, one eye, then the other, closes!
The last views of what I know, the tide, ebbing over my head.
Eyes shut!
Mouth shut!
Mind racing, tense, still, locking breath against the sinking inevitability.
Until I just, let go!
Sinking, thinking, I was gone, sinking further into silent stillness, the weightlessness, of my return.
A final, shuddering convolution, sucking icy ooze into my lungs.
Bubbles, of my last breath, tickling my face, abandoning me, forever!
I hung, suspended, gone, sinking on all fours, still.
Until!
My chest, rose, then fell, in disbelief, I spluttered, spat.
I am still breathing!
My lungs ingesting ooze, like gills.
I!
I was still breathing!
Twisting I could feel, sense, with each swirl, the flow of the ooze around me.
Short breaths, as the immersion, flowed through, around me.
Arms moving, legs engaging the plasma mass, a slow dance, a swimming.
I breath, I feel, I move, I live?
Eyes locked, head jerking, side to side, in this strange, new clinging reality.
Eyes, jump open in revolt, defiance!
I!
I can see?
I can see through this surreal, darkened, cloudy, plasma flow coursing around me, as I sink down into the deadly, blackness of total despair, helpless!
Turning towards the dim, shadowy glimmer of the surface, drifting away into the forever.
I sense!
See!
A fuzzy glow, radiating from me, my hands, legs aglow.
I roll in wonderous delight, conscious, fully conscious of being, transfixed.
My body, dissolves into a slow, gossamer shower, a curtain of pulsating photons, radiating, moving over my body, piercing the gloom.
I watch, enthralled, at the sight of my own, slow, dissipation into the gloom.
The final dissipation, a radiant eclipse.
Finally at one, with the earth!