Crazy Bastards
It was hard to see at first
Just sound
a distant hum
Ever increasing
Conversation slowed
Then stopped
As heads scanned the skies
The horizon
through the Palm trees
to the beach
a dot
a dilating black hole
looming
straight towards us
we stood
transfixed
realising finally
it was a chopper
literally a metre or so above the waves
clipping the ocean
a wake of spray
coming in
at full speed
straight at us
the glass bubble of the chopper
chattering back light
through the rotating blades
as the missile
zoomed large
crossing the surf
the chopper turned sharply vertical
rocketing skyward
gusting
an avalanche of sand
in a crescendo of ear-splitting sound
cowering the palms
in a frenzied whiplash
blasting sand onto the veranda of the house
pushing
sliding us backwards
bouncing off the wall
arms raised
in a vain attempt
to shield the eyes from the onslaught
draining sand as we picked ourselves up
blinking into the light
the chopper
returned
hovered over the beach
in front of the house
the pilot waved
then disappeared into the heavens
fucking Dave!
he was bored coming back from the rigs
he obviously thought
we needed the wind being put UP us
sweeping up the sand
then getting back to the BBQ and beer
the two Kiwi’s
escaped drug dealers from NZ
who now worked on the gas rigs off the east coast of Malaysia
talked me through Dave
who was a British Marine trained helicopter pilot
like a lot of military personal
the oil industry sucked them up after their discharge
that was not the end of Dave
days later
we were out on Pulau Kapas
laying in the sun
eyes closed behind the shades
naked
feeling the warmth of the sand
dozing
sluggish in the heat
the fishing boat anchored in the bay
the silence gradually being captured by
a now familiar drone
as I ripped the shades off
looked around
then directly up
as the cosmic bubble was diving
hurtling
directly
vertically towards the beach
at ME
I rolled over
Just as the chopper turned abruptly horizontal
In a cacophony of sound and a mist of aviation fuel vapour
Enveloping everything in sand
As the chopper headed into the surf
Skimming the waves
with a shiver of spray across the bay
I shook the sand from my head to see
the obligatory wave out of the window
as the chopper dissolved into a dot
shacking the sand out of every orifice
I decided
I had to meet Dave!
At the island resort hotel overlooking Terengganu on Bukit Kecil
Dave together with an American, an ex-navy seal
Joined us at the table
Having just finished the deep-fried ice cream
A speciality of the house
As the sunset prayer, the Maghrib, wove a spell with the evening mist
as we launched into the serious business
of drinking!
Dave
Had a startling shock of white hair
a legacy of being shot down
losing a mate in combat
who was sitting right beside him
his head a bloody pulp
spinning, spiralling to the ground
the rear rotor blades gone
battling to control
the angle of the final full stop
skidding into the earth
at 25?
Now
an accomplished alcoholic and drug taker
while off duty of course
Dave often jested
that if they introduced drug or alcohol tests before the morning bus trips to the rig
nobody would be flying!
Scott
the blue eyed American Navy Seal
increasingly stoked after multiple visits to the bathroom?
a trained assassin in the Navy Seals during Vietnam
he used to swim up rivers, at night, underwater
assassinate a Vietcong leader that had been targeted
then swim out again to the waiting launch
only one night
the launch wasn’t there!
in the eternal blackness that is the ocean at night
nobody knows how long he was there
he was plucked from the water unconscious
then flown to Thailand
to recuperate
spending time in hospital
he was wavering in and out of a comma
a nurse came over to his bedside
to check on him
touching his hand for his pulse
instinctively the training kicked in
he lashed out
almost killing the nurse
Scott discharged himself
And never returned
He was an intelligent man
Drifting around the world
controlling the oil and gas drilling rigs to find the right spots
a skilled job
This was the world that the Kiwi’s inhabited
The world of single, damaged men
Bumping around the world
Diving deeper into their own drug fuelled personal ibises
By comparison
The Kiwi’s were unskilled
But managed to get jobs on the rigs as manual labourers
Two weeks on, one week off
Extremely well paid
Once a month
They would take all their pay
Drive to Singapore
Hire two women each
Spending the entire week
Off their faces
In a luxury hotel
With all the food being brought in
As they partied
Nonstop
Usually coming back broke!
They also bought a boat
for water skiing on the rivers
That wound their way through the jungles leading to the mountains
Conscripted on one occasion
We motored up a muddy, fast flowing estuary
that snaked into an ever-narrowing river
with floating tree trunks, branches
the jungle capturing the banks
limbs trailing into the swollen river
Half stoked
They cajoled me into the water with the skies
I raised my hand
Ready
Then
they hit the peddle
At full speed!
I was catapulted from the water
As the G force locked my arms
In a frantic attempt to stay on my feet
At full speed, they oscillated from one side of the river
To the other
As I brushed the trees
in an pendulum of increasing panic
As the jungle blurred by
The Kiwi’s in hysterics
No doubt amused by the look of terror on my face
Then
They did a standing
360 turn
in the middle of the river
sending up a huge bow wave
as I was catapulted around the pivot point of the boat
At escalating speed
Skipping through, over the bow wave
With the jungle looming up at great speed
As the width of the river at this point
was narrower
Then the length of the boat and the ski rope
This was it!
I bailed
Sinking into the brown slime
In total uproar
In convulsions of laughter
They could just
lift me from the water
my arms still locked in a muscular spasm
I slumped into the rear of the boat
as they mounted the seats
Tootling the boat at a slow, gliding pace
Down stream
Waving and laughing at the Malays gathered at the water’s edge
Who watched the show
Wondering what the hell was going down!
namely ME?
Exhausted
Recovering my panicked breath
Slumped
Listening to them chat
As they recounted the stunt
Laughing
with over the shoulder glances
It was lucky there were no crocodiles today!!!!
I rolled my eyes
And departed company with the Kiwi’s
Although to my embarrassment
After straightening my arms
the story did make the rounds of the bars for a few months afterwards
Oh! the joys of the expat community?
However, the continuing party came to sudden stop
When Dave
air lifted the two Kiwi’s off the rig
After a large fire that killed two rig operators
One Kiwi was superficially burned was trying to save his mate
Who was severely burned beyond recognition
He was flown to Singapore
No luxury hotels this time!
I never saw him again?