the knock
Ears
Shaken from slumber
Alert
Waiting
then again
A knock
A Sharp
One finger knuckle tap
Furtively
Scanning my new apartment
Startled
No one knows me here in Singapore
Tentatively I shuffled to the door
Spurred on by another
Sharp
Insistent knock
Straightening to my full height
I swept the door open in a defiant gesture
Wafting my hair
Sucking my very breath away
In an exhalation
Punctuated by dilated eyes
Flared nostrils
Transfixed by this wondrous diminutive beauty framed in my doorway
startled
dazed then shocked
she stepped back
I flinched
Shuffling feet
Stammering out a pathetic attempt at a quizzical, inflicted gesture of greeting
This apparition’s succulent lips mouthed a faltering fragmented explanation in a vague, indeed vain attempt at English explaining
She is my landlord
Her black eyes furtively darting around me to view into the apartment, swaying her luxuriant black shiny sprung hair
captivated
distracted
for just long enough to feel apologetic
about not inviting her in immediately
I stepped aside with a waving gesture of welcome that swept her into my world
We stood nervously shuffling around the lounge
She was amazed and really liked what I had done to the place
I had no money and the furniture was cheap shit, appalling really, for the price I am paying
Being in China town overlooking the markets
I bought a whole lot of white sheets and wrapped all the furniture, lounges, chairs, tables, everything
tying oversized knots, stretching each piece into a sculptural form that modelled the interior
Just simple expediency
Having once again reminded me that this was her place
she assumed a confident erect posture and strolled through my kitchen
then into my bedroom, opening wardrobes, drawers
I could not believe this
This is either an affront and I don’t really care who she is
or
a gift from heaven in a new world
I was ready for the gift??
Her stilted compliments
Had me trying
In my best slow emphatic broken English
to communicate
to impress
Yes
I am an architect working in Singapore
Asking where to try the best food in China Town
in a forlorn attempt to find faltering common ground
She glided into the living room and alighted on the wrapped lounge
I offered tea and chatted from the kitchen as I prepared green tea
Seated
She relaxed into the folded sheet
sighing
beautifully sighing
Transfixed in my alternative imaginary world
her satin skin inviting touch
the very sound of her legs
crossing
brushing
her soft red lips silently mouthing words
unknown to me
a masterpiece on the canvas of my dreams
as she curled her legs in a comfortable, familiar manner
my eyes tracing her skin and delighting in the emphatic gestured sway of her hair
transfixed
my senses in overload
audio on mute
just making out
through the fog of incomprehension
her deceased father left her this apartment as a start to her investment portfolio
a future dowry
I could not fail to be further impressed
Rich and beautiful!
A shadow walked across her face
realising the time
she sat upright and apologised in a stilted manner
bringing the tea to rest on the side table
We both abruptly stood facing one another
Me electric
she apprehensive
not knowing where to look
I nervously extended my hand
Expressing my over enthusiastic delight in meeting her by clasping both of my hands in hers
With a guiding hand in the small of her back
she slid towards the door
I ran ahead like an excited puppy, opening the door and with a courteous bow
she was gone
I waved and gently closed
clicked the door
Leaning on the door in staggered disbelief at my good fortune
A fleeting thought
Did I miss an opportunity?
Should I have asked her out to dinner??
I morphed into my own world of would be’s, what if’s
Reconciling myself with the fact that I could not provide the 5 C’s that Singaporean women desired the most
Cock, cash, credit cards, condominium, cars
The only C I had was Caucasian
I literally slumped
into the chair
Sitting on the balcony as the light left me
Resigned
A knock
A solid full knuckled
Rap, rap, rap
shaking the door
then another
reverberating down the stair well
startled from my reading
I leap up
threw the book onto the lounge
bouncing then to the floor
I tentatively
opened the door
ajar just enough to see
a tall thick set wall of a man silhouetted by the lobby light
casting a long dark shadow into my apartment
shielding a familiar diminutive beautiful figure in an alluring cheongsam
my landlord stepped forward
bowing demurely
this was her boyfriend, who did not speak English
she was so taken by what I have done to the apartment
she hoped I would not mind if she showed him the apartment
of course
straightening up to my full height
with some reservation
invited them in
she wafted around the apartment like she owned it oddly enough?
Chattering, gesticulating at each piece in an excited manner
the dialogue was one sided, energetic, bouncy, light with little familiarity or obvious intimacy, just giggles orchestrating the tour
standing at the closed door
enthralled
my eyes followed her every move, every inflection, every intonation not understanding
what in the hell she was saying
his demeaner
questioning, stabbing, wrinkled brow, glances over his shoulder
directed at me
occasioning
discordant jolts
every time my eyes meet his
in tandem she brought the tour back to the door
I reluctantly offered tea
It was just a quick stop so I politely opened the door
he bowed
with a flashy insincere smile
as a parting gesture
as the cacophony of their conversation
colliding around the stair well
echoing
bursting onto the street
reverberating up to my balcony
as I watched
them both
slide into a white, chaffered Mercedes
slowly draw away from my life
disappearing
I flopped down into the lounge
All my fantasies evaporated in a mist of disappointment
A knock
At least
I thought it was a knock
A soft gentle stroke more accurately
A caress
Almost undetectable
To the human ear
Dazed
after just returning from a long trip
My ear swivelled in the direction of the door
Another smooth, longer caress of my door
With both hands firmly on the knees
I reluctantly pumped, raised myself upright
Heavy, with a slight sway
I shuffled to door
yet another soft caress, as I quickened my pace
slowly opening the door
in a tired resigned manner
my eyes downwardly cast
scanning
as I raised my head
instantly unfolding to my full height
to an image
of a handsome, stately, elder women
expensively dressed
elegant
with sparkling olive eyes
again
with my landlord in tow?
beaming as she introduced
her mother!
excitedly, she grasped her mother’s arm with an animated smile
Come in I hear myself say
I was awake, but unsure where this was going
Was a forlorn hope being awakened??
I shook the mother’s hand politely and they moved over the threshold
After the obligatory tour, excited chatter, raised eye brows, shaking of the head
they arrived back at the lounge
alighting on the edge as I prepared tea
serving the mother humbly, first
bowing the head as I passed the tea
the landlord, interpreting for the mother
as a stilted, faltering conversation unfolded
complimenting me on what I had done to the place
overjoyed at having a Caucasian as a tenant
obviously who else would pay this rent?
stilted as it was
silences ensued
as phrases were formulated
then
an invitation to dinner
NOW?
taken aback
disorientated
I graciously accepted
they chatted as I hastily changed shirt
then to the door
down the stairs
into the street
my landlord, took my arm and pulled me towards the car
the chauffeur opened the rear door of the white Mercedes
depositing me next to her mother
they both beamed smiles of appreciation and satisfaction
as I wondered where do we go from here?
sandwiched between two beautiful women, lapsing in and out of silence
as the light escaped to the west
a nervous apprehension set in
as we journeyed out to the east
the coastal seafood restaurants
which I knew well
The car dropped us off
we walked along the seawall
to an open air restaurant under the emerging stars
battling against the ablaze of lights
the chatter skipping across the water
The mother was known
wielding authority
a small, special table was hurriedly organised and set up facing the water
no booking, just assumed expectations, obediently met
The wavering, sing song conversation, kicked through the ordering
no menu
what the mother wanted was confidently dictated
with reciprocal nods by the manager
punctuating each course order
scribbling frantically
a nod
bow
as the manager evaporated into the glare
beer was ordered for me
the mother was not drinking
the landlord
just sipped the same beer glass all evening
me
Well what else could I do?
the conversation was so forced, punctuated with radiant smiles and giggles
I smiled, nodded
and drank
When we got to the fruit
I felt
A warm soft pad of flesh with twinkling animated toes
Crawling up my leg
startled
looking down
then up
my eyes darting to the mother
then locking into the landlord’s gaze
as she, tilted her head
quietly, demurely smiling
Moving further up my leg
In a slow sensuous movement
The naked foot
Toes crawling higher
The mother was conversing with the manager at some length
Unaware of my shifting awkwardness
Our eyes transfixed, she broadened her riveting smile,
Intensifying her gaze
As her foot moved higher
up between my legs
rhythmically moving
up and down
arousal was not on my mind
as I wondered
what the fuck was going on here?
trying valiantly to stay cool
the brick wall of the boyfriend not far from my mind
sweat running down my temples dripping from my chin
I excused myself and fled to the gents
Vigorously
indeed very sternly, lecturing myself at the urinal
What in the fuck are you doing?
Am I being groomed with the permission of the mother?
A honky as a son in law?
Where’s the boyfriend?
A splashed my face at the basin
wake up, wake up
giving myself a direct, empowering stare before turning
walking back
wearing a cool cloak of civility
As I approached the table
The bill was paid with no money changing hands, just a nod of thanks
We they all stood at once
synchronised in that moment
the landlord
magnetically drawn to my side
grabbing my arm
head tilted, her eyes languishing in mine
The mother smiled knowingly, as we walked
The car was there of course
Me
Glasses misting with the blast of cold airconditioned air
Sandwiched again
feeling the heat of two radiating bodies
as quietness slowly descended over the hum of the traffic
the mother
with a fixed gaze out the window
strobed by sporadic yellow street lights
as my landlord slid her arm in mine, resting her head on my shoulder
the other hand slid up my thigh to my crutch
I looked down
again
the demure smile
The car ended the agony
By stopping
Shaken into awareness
my landlord alighted, bounced onto the pavement
I slid out, smiling over the shoulder
nodding thank you
to the mother
I stood up
Sliding past her silken breasts
Her eyes tracking my rise
in a knowing gaze
She took my arm and started walking to the door
I politely hesitated at first
sensing the danger
thank you
I blurted out
Kissing her on the cheek
retiring
nodding apologetically
the trip having caught up with me!
I stumbled over the step, opening the door, looking back and waving
as she stood alone in the street
the car waiting
I made the stairs, two at a time
frantically unlocking the door
slamming it shut
Locking it loudly
then falling onto the lounge
heaving a huge sigh of relief
What in the hell was that all about?
You idiot, an opportunity missed?
Thank god!
staring at the ceiling
my eyelids
timing out
I slid into the peace of the night
until
A knock?
A familar knock!